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Who are you REALLY?

Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

Sometimes, we practice something and when a new situation comes up, something natural comes out which has nothing much to do with what we have practice. These are real teachers. Which part of what comes out is bad, which part is great? You go and start to develop that. Because it came from deep inside you, not something you learn that came from someone else.

When I was really young, there was a warning posted about a creep on the roof of our apartment peeking into people windows and taking pictures of people taking a shower. One evening, a family member upstairs scream. Without thinking, I went into the kitchen and grab something that can be used as a weapon. My brother and I went up to the roof and quietly and could not find the guy.

Afterwards, for days, it really bothered me, I mean I was training in Gung Fu since I was 11 but nothing I trained came out….. zero. I did forms, I did counter punching drills, footwork drills, blocking drills, sticking ….. all empty hand stuff, great. But when I thought my mother was in danger, I grab a weapon, which at the time had absolutely nothing to do with anything I was drilling in Gung Fu Class. Why did I grab something I didn’t know how to use? So what comes out naturally from the deepest part of my instincts was different from what I was training. I was practicing one thing but doing another…. this is what a hypocrite is…..that bothered me. Not to mention the fact, 2 kids should not be on the roof looking for anyone…..stupid!

It was many decades later that I corrected that. Nowadays, I train with hammer, knives, staff, spears, sabres, machete, stick, empty hands until they are all the same…. no matter what I grab it is the same. Great but that is not the point, the point of this post is not about weapons training. The point is that in training itself, I should always be exposing myself to new situations which would trigger and allow me to actually see what NATURALLY come out and work with THAT instead of pretending to be someone else.

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